boys can cry: a journey for the perfect gift for a man

27Oct09

Today is an important day.

No, it’s not my birthday, that’s in December if you want to put it in your calendar. This is far more important and in need of your support.

: The Perfect Gift for a Man

You see, today is the launch of The Perfect Gift for a Man.

Back in July of this year, I wrote a post about my brother for #manweek.

Writing the story of my baby brother struggling to find himself, and the impact of his struggles on his loved ones, was one of the hardest things I’ve done.

To put his story, and mine, into words and post it on the world-wide-web was incredibly difficult. Not only did I have a fear of exposing his plight to the strangers and friends who frequent my blog, but the biggest fear was the actual process of writing.

I feared my ability to tell his story. I feared my ability to capture the strength he had. I feared not being able to achieve what, ultimately, I wanted to achieve – to show young men and women, that it can be ok.

It actually didn’t take too long to put the words onto the screen when I drafted the post. Little did I realise, I had the words swimming around my head and heart waiting to fall into prose. Like a classic riff that you know instinctively, typing the story of my brother came with ease.

It was the draft post staring at me on the screen that I had the most trouble with. It’s amazing the sea of guilt and apprehension one feels when they have left themselves so bare. Guilt because my brother’s story is nothing special. We know 1 in 4 young Australians will experience a mental health issue in the next twelve months.

And my apprehension was actually my selfishness. Selfishness that I didn’t want to be judged. I didn’t want my brother to be judged.

As a woman, I fear we take the men in our lives for granted. We take the line that boys don’t cry. Men shouldn’t show weakness, and emotional troubles are weaknesses.

But as a woman, I implore you to reject this notion. We can make a difference to the tragedy that is suicide in this country. We can help.

Speak to your brother, your husband, your son or your father. Ask them how they are. Let them know that it is ok to cry. Buy this book and give it to the man or men in your life. Show them the stories of every day people who have taken the courage to share their journey.

But most importantly, show them that there is help available, and it doesn’t make them any less of a man to ask. In fact in my eyes, in yours and in theirs, it makes them more of a man.

You can read my brother’s story, and 29 other brave and amazing stories in the Perfect Gift for a Man

This book, The Perfect Gift for a Man, is written about men, for men. And as such, we wanted to reflect the life of a man – the good, the difficult, the challenging and the astounding.

The amazing thing is, that without any particular orchestration on our part, the topics chosen by our authors fell into the various stages that we experience as we grow and age – Becoming a Man, Respect (gaining and giving), Fragility, Fatherhood and Loss. The table of contents can be seen below, along with some of the book’s preliminary pages.

We believe that these stories will get under your skin – just as they did with us. We trust that they will be stories you will want to share with the men in your life – with your brothers, uncles, fathers and sons. With your friends and family. The book will be available for purchase on Wednesday, October 26, 2009.

Check out the social media release here. And importantly, go buy the book here.

Why The Perfect Gift for a Man is so important

In Australia, young men commit suicide at more than three times the rate of women of the same age. Further, mental illness and drug and alcohol dependency is severely affecting men aged 16-24.

In mid-2009, The Inspire Foundation launched the #Manweek campaign to raise awareness of these issues. A number of Australian bloggers supported this campaign, sharing their thoughts, challenges and experiences with their readers.

Each of these stories was a gift – sometimes painful to write, always astounding to read. They got under our skin, and as the campaign ended, we felt that the campaign had only just scratched the surface. We wanted to take these stories and share them with others – with our brothers, fathers and uncles.

With our friends and families.

This book is the result. Please buy it for the men in your life.

All proceeds go to The Inspire Foundation.

We think it is the perfect gift.

And I do too. Check it. And buy it.